As I write this, it is Friday, December 21. My Christmas break, a blessed four-day weekend, has started. I kind of want to watch the rest of the episodes I have yet to catch up on of Escape at Dannemora on Showtime. But then I read today’s Jesus Calling devotional.
“My plan for your life is unfolding before you. Sometimes the road you are traveling seems blocked, or it opens up so painfully slowly that you must hold yourself back. Then, when the time is right, the way before you suddenly clears – through no effort of your own. What you have longed for and worked for I present to you freely, as a pure gift. You feel awed by the ease with which I operate in the world, and you glimpse My Power and My Glory.
Do not fear your weakness, for it is the stage on which My Power and Glory perform most brilliantly. As you persevere along the path I have prepared for you, depending on My strength to sustain you, expect to see miracles – and you will.”
After I read that, I knew today was the day to write about the Twiners.
***
I met Kasia Twiner when I moved to Jackson, Mississippi for an ill-fated attempt at love. This blog is not about me, but it helps to give my context to the story so you understand how critical it was that I met Kasia at this exact time in my life. I was living a perfectly happy life in Birmingham, Alabama when I met a man from Jackson, fell in love, and moved there to be with him. I was there barely six weeks before our relationship totally imploded, and I answered the door to who I thought was the pizza man but who instead was my now-ex, who was in and out of my apartment in about five minutes, dumping me. And then the actual pizza delivery man showed up during the breakup (I cannot make this up), and my ex walked out as I was paying for the pizza, and I’ve never seen him since. And by the grace of God, I’m laughing about this as I type this, but it was really not freaking funny in September 2017.
Kasia and I were coworkers at this time at a small, private Christian university in Jackson. She and our other coworker, Carina, worked in a row of offices in a space painted bright orange, and those two women were the highlight of my four months and seven days as a resident of Jackson. We had weekly lunch dates on Thursdays at the university’s cafeteria, and they were often the highlights of my week in a very, very rough season of life for me. During this time, Kasia and her husband, William, found out they were pregnant, which was a dream Kasia at one point did not think was possible. I was watching a miracle play out before my eyes, and I was taking notice.
Kasia told me many times of how she was roughly my age – the lovely ex broke up with me four days before I turned 31 (thanks, dude!), and Kasia was 32 when she and William reconnected – when her love story unfolded at the speed of light, almost unbelievably, before her. How there was a time where she accepted that she might never find love, and that while she might not have been happy about it, she was content with whatever God had for her. God is so masterful at details, and I am completely certain that He placed Kasia in my life during that season to not just become an entry in my blog that at the time wasn’t even a nugget in my mind, but to serve as an example of unwavering faith in Him and His plan and His timing.
I think you’ll enjoy she and William’s story as much as I did. I hope I can do it justice.
***
Before he moved back to his home of Jackson in August 2014, William spent many years in Nashville struggling. Trying to figure out who he was. He isolated. He wanted to be alone – and that included being apart from Jesus. He had unfriended a college acquaintance, Kasia Crider, because all she ever did on Facebook was talk about Jesus. He was sick of it. He didn’t want that in his life.
He was homesick and missing his family and felt a pull to escape Nashville and return home. He quit his job, much to the confusion of everyone around him. He spent the remainder of 2014 and into 2015 reconnecting with the Lord, a relationship he once held dear but had let slip through the cracks. Just as He always is, Jesus was ready to receive William when William was ready to come home – not just to Mississippi, but to Jesus, too. He read his Bible in 90 days. He worked on his relationship with Christ and his relationship with himself. And, in 2015, he confessed to his sister Emily that his dream of having a wife and a family had resurfaced in his heart.
At the top of Emily's list of potential women he should consider was Kasia Crider, that girl he once knew from college but had long since lost touch with. In college, she made a habit of dying her hair different colors; William called her, semi-chastisingly, Rainbow Brite because of her ever-changing hues.
“Rainbow Brite?” William said to Emily. “The girl who wore skirts over jeans?”
“It's the heart that matters, William,” Emily said. “And I don't think she dresses like that anymore, anyway. And I think you'd love her heart.”
(And the Sister of the Year Award goes to…)
William looked her up on Facebook and fell into the web of her blog, which really showed Kasia’s heart for Jesus – and that she could cook. He read every single entry. That night, he sent her a Facebook friend request. It was December 15, 2015.
In less than 10 months, they’d be married.
***
William and Kasia met as students at Mississippi College in 2003 – before Facebook was even created. Mississippi College is a small Christian university in Clinton, Mississippi, right outside of Jackson – it has around 5,000 students and feels, as William put it, like one big church camp. Both William and Kasia were involved on campus; instead of traditional fraternities or sororities, MC had clubs and tribes, and both of them were deeply involved in their respective groups. Their friendship circles intermingled and their groups hung out socially. And, just as William had noticed Kasia’s hair, Kasia – and apparently every other girl at MC – had noticed William’s, too, a big lion’s mane of curly brown hair that was, as Kasia said, a frequent topic of conversation amongst women at MC.
They hung out at the same functions and both discovered a love for Harry Potter. They even rode together to the Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire film premiere. They’d meet in the lobby of their dorm to play Harry Potter Scene It. Kasia dressed up. William thought she was weird. Kasia thought he was a snob from Madison, a fancier suburb of Jackson. (Though William is from Madison, he is not a snob.) He thought she was nice and a little odd, a little quirky – what with her purple hair and her Harry Potter costumes. She thought he was worthy of inclusion on her crush list. She never dated any of these guys, she just crushed from afar; she certainly didn’t see him, the guy with the hair, as her future husband.
College ended, and so did their relationship. Kasia and Emily, William’s sister, kept up with the ongoings of one another’s lives via Facebook. Life took Kasia to New Orleans and William to Nashville.
Then, on that December 15, everything changed.
***
It was a Tuesday night. Not much was going on when Kasia got the Facebook notification that William Twiner had added her on Facebook.
Kasia had always desired marriage, but she was 32 and had accepted that it might not happen. If God wants this for me, He’ll give it to me. If not, I’ll still have a wonderful life, she thought. She wasn’t lacking for anything. She had friends who were like family. A full life. She had actually gotten to the place where she had become comfortable in her singleness. She had to force herself to not be afraid of anything if it came across her path.
And, like a lightning bolt, William Twiner reentered her life.
A week before Christmas, Kasia wrote on her blog about what Christmas is really about. It caught Emily’s eye.
“Read this blog post,” Emily told William. “You would really like her heart. If you read it and are not interested, I’ll never bring her up again. Just try to read her post and tell me you don’t want to talk to her. I think you’re supposed to marry her, William.”
So, finally, he sent the friend request. What am I supposed to say? he thought to himself. Hey, my sister thinks I’m supposed to marry you? Instead he settled on What’s up? Long time no talk. Where are you at now?
The first conversation was short, but enough to lead Kasia to prayer about it.
“If this is anything, please work it out,” she prayed. “If not, I’ll be okay.”
The holidays happened, William’s niece – Emily’s daughter – had her first Christmas, and 2016 was ushered in with fanfare. Soon after, on January 14, 2016, Alan Rickman – who played Severus Snape in the Harry Potter films – died of cancer. Both William and Kasia posted on Facebook about how Rickman’s death was a major loss; how they’d never be able to watch Harry Potter without crying again. They started messaging one another privately about it.
Now, I’ve never read a page of a Harry Potter book nor seen any of the movies. (Blasphemy, I know.) I don’t know a thing about Severus Snape and I had to look up how to spell it. Apparently, his story is about redemption; a bad guy turned good, a lesson that no one is so far gone they can’t come back. William, at one point, thought he was too far gone from Jesus to ever come back into the fold; Kasia, at one point, thought she was too far gone from her dreams of becoming a wife and a mother to ever see that dream come true. Both were wrong.
I’m sure Alan Rickman would smile if he knew that, in his final act, it brought two souls together forever.
***
Buckle up, friends, because the rollercoaster kicks into full speed ahead from here on out.
It’s January 14, 2016. From this day forward, William and Kasia talked nonstop, all day, every day. William was in cell phone sales, and thankfully had already met his goals – because all he did all day was message Kasia. Kasia was transitioning from a job at Hinds Community College to a job at Belhaven – where I would eventually meet her – and her job was essentially wrapped up with a bow anyway, so she was able to participate in this literally nonstop conversation. Kasia’s roommates got invested. He totally likes you! they said. She wasn’t quite buying it. She tried to flirt with him – and failed. She was feeling the chemistry, but kept telling herself to pump the brakes – this wasn’t love, right? There’s no way she could get a new job (check), get a new car (check), and get married (check) all in one year, right? Right?
Wrong.
William and Kasia went out for dinner on Friday, January 15 to celebrate her new job at Belhaven. It was their first date. They shut down an old Mexican restaurant they loved, Margaritas.
“It felt really natural,” Kasia said. “We talked all night. It was easy and fun.”
They hadn’t seen one another in nearly 10 years, so there was much to discuss. On their second date on Tuesday, January 19, they went to Majestic Burger in Ridgeland, William’s favorite restaurant at the time. He ended the date thinking I think I’m in love with this girl. This is the girl I might marry.
At dinner he told her his life story – all of it. His entire past. He wanted to tell her everything before he got too involved and got his heart broken. Three hours later, they were still talking, and William was still spilling his whole heart.
“I see redemption and all of God woven through all of your story,” she told him. “It’s so awesome to see that everything your life has been redeemed.”
That’s the moment William Twiner knew he would marry Kasia Crider.
“I was done,” he said. “I was ready.”
***
William was sure, but Kasia wasn’t just yet. On the way home from that second date, she called her best friend.
“I’m scared,” she said. “I don’t know if I want his story to be my story.”
Kasia prayed, as she so often does. God, if this is what You have for me, make it clear. She felt that she should continue; that she shouldn’t run from this. On her way to work the next morning, she heard a song she’d heard many times before but had never fully listened to. It was about mercy – a history being rewritten, a past being forgiven. She then saw one of the most vivid rainbows she’d ever seen. She heard God loud and clear. Don’t run away. This is something big. It was almost too big to comprehend in that moment, but she knew, as she always had known, that God had it under control.
“It was unexplainable, supernatural,” she said. “I knew we were supposed to be together forever.”
***
William fell in love with Kasia through reading her blog. He read everything she ever wrote.
“If we weren’t talking, I was reading her blog,” he said.
They said I love you before Valentine’s Day. William’s mom, before they even got engaged, put a down payment on a venue. They were on the fast track.
Two months and three days after their first date, William planned their proposal. He invited both families and all of their friends to a surprise engagement party at their church. Before their party, they attended a child’s birthday party, where everyone knew what was about to happen later that day but Kasia. At the birthday party, everyone kept asking William “Are you okay?” He couldn’t focus.
His excuse to get to the church was that he wanted to practice in the sanctuary for a youth event he had coming up. Emily was hiding in the sound booth taking pictures. Kasia, having no clue what was about to happen, brought in a Chick-Fil-A cup with her. William was apoplectic. She also had to run to the bathroom. He seemed frustrated. She didn’t get it.
He had her walk to the front of the sanctuary, where the sixth Harry Potter book was tied with a green ribbon. The chapter it revealed was “The Unbreakable Vow.” Her engagement ring was there also, along with a Bible with her new name, Kasia Twiner, embossed on it, and flowers. William got down on one knee, with a full speech planned. And in that moment, as he lowered to one knee and looked up at her – so beautiful, so wonderful – he started crying. All thoughts left his mind, and all he could come up with was all she wanted to hear for so many years:
“Will you marry me?”
She said yes, and cried.
“Dry your eyes,” he told her sweetly. “Everybody you know is here. We’re about to have an engagement party.”
As William put it, there have been weddings less well-catered than their engagement party. Over 100 friends and family were there to celebrate. It was a mini-wedding.
“We could have easily gotten married that day,” William said.
Ever since she was in college, Kasia had a favorite day – October 14. It stemmed from her love for fall – really, her obsession for fall – and one day, as a sophomore in college, it was an exceptionally beautiful day on October 14. I’m going to remember this day forever, she thought. She came home from classes, sat outside, and decided that October 14 was the day God gave her. Her special day. It was so common knowledge that friends got her presents on October 14.
Wedding planning began after their March engagement. The date chosen? October 14, 2016.
***
Even Emily knew about October 14’s place in Kasia’s heart. So, after discussing it, William and Kasia decided that they were on the same page and didn’t want to wait until Saturday, October 14, 2017. The wedding date was set for Friday, October 14, 2016. William would be 32, and Kasia 33. Since then, they celebrated their first wedding anniversary in October 2017 with news that they were going to be parents. Their little miracle, Magnolia Joyce Twiner, was born on July 2, 2018. (They even became viral sensations for their Harry Potter-themed gender reveal. You’ve got to check it out.)
When I started this blog, the Twiners were exactly the couple I had in mind. Two people who hadn’t given up on love, but had given up on it maybe happening for them. They embraced their singleness and decided to live a life of value, with or without a spouse or a child. And, in choosing to trust God, they opened themselves up to the greatest love story – the love between Creator and child. From there, everything beautiful happened.
William is quick to say we aren’t promised anything outside of a relationship with Christ. He knows it’s easy for him to say, now on the other side of husbandhood and fatherhood, to trust in God’s plan and to lean into Jeremiah 29:11. That verse doesn’t always mean that as Christians we’ll get what we want. God is not a drive thru where we can order a perfect marriage, a perfect baby, and a perfect job and have it delivered to us in under three minutes. That was the culture William grew up in, he said – if you pray about it, you’ll get what you want. That’s not always true. But the lesson here – a realization both William and Kasia had come to before they met – is that whether or not love happens, Christ is enough. He is still good. He is still provisional. Even if marriage doesn’t happen, it doesn’t make God any less. And it doesn’t make one’s life any less.
“I had come to that point that I was okay that I might never get married,” he said. “I might just be an amazing uncle, brother, and friend. I didn’t have to wait to live my best life. God is so big and he knows all our desires. Not everyone finds what everyone else has, but in the end we find exactly what God wants us to have.”
When she was single, Kasia would make Christmas cards with her roommates. She didn’t wait until her wedding day for her life to begin.
“People so often wait for life to happen instead of loving life where they are,” she said. “I loved my friends’ kids, I loved life – I planned events and threw parties and did a good job of learning to love life even if I didn’t have what I wanted in life. You have to learn to love life regardless of what you do or don’t have.”
Their marriage is not perfect, but every night before bed they say three reasons why they love each other on that particular day. I love you because you took the trash out for me when you know I hate to take out the trash. You told me I was pretty. You opened the car door for me. Stuff like that. They also said that they find more problems in their marriage the further they grow away from worshipping Christ, and the closer they are to Him, the closer they are to each other. They never say I love you out of obligation. They remember all the myriad of reasons they love each other. They are best friends that enjoy days on their deck and nights on their couch with their baby and two dogs. They are probably one of the single most compatible couples I’ve ever met. Shared interests. Shared hobbies. Shared hopes and dreams and goals. Who would have ever known during their days at MC that this would all come to pass?
“It sounds cliché, but I would experience all of the hurts I experienced a million times over,” Kasia said. “I am so glad God didn’t let us write our own love story. I never imagined it could be this amazing and wonderful.”
She said she would have gotten married way before 33, and it wouldn’t have been right. William said he saw on Pinterest something that summed up everything.
“It said ‘When I met you I realized why it didn’t work out with anyone else,’” he said. “It’s super cheesy, but true.”
With tears in my eyes, as we wrapped up our marathon phone call, I asked Kasia, my friend who walked with me through such an ugly season, one who is now on the other side of the journey towards companionship that I am walking, was it worth the wait?
She doesn’t miss a beat before answering.
“Absolutely,” she said. “Absolutely.”